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July 24th, 2014

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01:02 am - Slow down girl
I'm scared of losing him.

But it's starting to become a reality, and his friend is right. I'm not happy a lot of the time with my own life and I've projected that onto him, making it about time together, or whatever crazy fucking thing I think of at the time.

I need to give him the space to get what he needs to get done.

I need to keep myself more busy to keep myself happy.

I need to stop letting my relationship control my happiness.

I need to stop being short sighted about my relationship and think every little feeling I have needs to be expressed.

This guy is amazing and i'm draining him to the point that he's tired of it.

I just need to make major changes and fast.

As far as jobs are concerned- I most certainly need to figure out what I want to do and I need to be doing this on my own. Being unhappy and complaining about it constantly doesn't get me anywhere.

It was his friend's idea that i start journaling and maybe i'll be coming here more often to get out all these stupid thoughts. Because he doesn't need to hear it and its really straining both of our happiness.

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