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Frustraited - hey little girl, step into this world

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August 11th, 2014

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03:50 pm - Frustraited
I feel like i'm wasting my time.

wasting my life.

I just want to do something worthwhile that makes me feel like i've actually accomplished something at the end of every day.

Sitting at a desk all day worrying about how many bathroom breaks I take is not fulfilling. I feel like just one more phone call taker, one more associate and i'm not making a huge impact. Occasionally, i'll get a large escalation where i feel like I'm the hero and i get to make the merchants day and that feels great. But interacting this way, on the phone and via email is so impersonal I just don't connect. I"m a face to face person.

Every day i'm here I get this huge cloud over my head. I tell myself each morning it's going to be a good day, that i'm going to rock my work and have a great day. I get my workout and routine done and head to work and its like, i step on the premisis and immediately get angry. I get my 1 hour to focus on some emails then get on the phones. This is the base of my unhappiness. Answering phones, day after day the same questions, the same problems, different merchants. I HATE the routine of it all and the repetitive nature and the lack of variety in my days.

Maybe I dont need to make more money. Maybe I don't need to have a lucrative career. Maybe i just need to do what makes me happy. That's fitness and nutrition. Maybe personal training is a field worth pursuing. I wont make much but I can certainly supplement.

I never saw myself as someone at 1 job the rest of their life. The idea of multiple jobs to do all kinds of things has always appealed to me. Maybe run a small coffee shop, personal train, and do beachbody on the side. Sure, I wouldn't be making much, but my day to day quality of life would be so much better.

This office thing just isn't for me. It doesn't make me happy, i'm not fullfilled and it makes my life miserable. I dont think HR is going to be any better. It will still be the same corporate BS and crap that i endure here, except with more responsibility attached to it.

Maybe i really sure go for this personal training career. Maybe i should pursue being a nutritionist. Maybe I should look into school counseling like I originally wanted to do.

I have this conversation with myself over and over and nothing ever changes. I need to pick something and go after it, but honestly im scared to. I"m scared to choose the wrong thing again and again and never get anywhere in my career. i dont even have a career right now. i feel like i'm just working. at 25 i'm about average compared to other people i know my age. Not doing what i want, but making a decent living and kind of just figuring it out. Well, i want to excell. I want to be ahead of the crowd and I want to create a career I don't want to step away from.

I dont want a job that's all problems either. I hate customer service. I feel like i know some options I can go after but i also in the meantime dont want to stay here. but ...maybe thats part of it. Maybe I just suck it up and stay at this job while I work towards something better. Maybe that will give me the fulfillment I'm looking for.

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