September 12th, 2014
|11:38 am - Update|
Thing are going really, really well with Tony and overall I'm a lot happier these days.
I've stopped thinking about Case, for the most part. Occasionally here and there I'll wonder what he's doing. I saw his car at walmart near shadle recently and did all but duck behind aisle to avoid seeing him. I just...dont want to. I want nothing to do with him, and really dont want to be met with that sort of opportunity. I do still wonder how he's doing, if he's grown up at all or if he even think about me. I wonder if he and Gopher girl are still together, if it was worth rejecting me. Part of me wishes they were no longer together, and most of me just doesn't care. He wasn't what I wanted, and wasn't who he percieved himself to be. This " good ol boy" from Spokane teddy bear would never hurt a girl type. After all the alcohol issues, cheating and lying... It's pretty clear I was in deillusion for so long. Its ok, I learned so much from the way that relationship went downhill but I'm also really just grateful that I am not marrying him. I dont have to spend the rest of my life with his rants, immaturity and stunted emotions.
Things with Tony are going absolutely fantastic. I'm really, really happy with him. I know that this is a pretty common thing to say when you are WITH someone. But what I can tell you, is that I've never been this happy in my life. I've never been this sure about someone, treated this well, or seen a future with someone quite so clearly. Sure, I had aspirations to marry Case, because thats just where I saw it going, but honestly, I saw a future without him pretty clearly too. Despite the hardship and heartache i've endured this year, He's worth all of it.
It's just crazy though, how a guy who I could barely call a "friend" what with the nature of our relations, turns out to be the absolute best person for me to spend my life with, hopefully. We've been close, faded away, had intense attraction and physical activity throughout the years but when he came to my door asking for more, it changed everything I knew about him.
In the past, he had been a friend to Case, and one to me independently. We had hung out as a threesome, most regularly in an inebriated state. The situation would always play out the same; Case would get blitzed, ignore me or we'd fight, and in the meantime Tony would be putting his drunken moves towards me. I was always infuiriated at Case for never noticing, and when I did tell him, for not caring or having the balls to stand up to his friend. Keeping the piece with a buddy was more important than his girlfriends comfort, or our relationship for that matter. I know for certain if a friend of Tony's acted in this regard, he would most certainly put a stop to it immediately.
He protects me, makes me feel special, makes me feel happy and beautiful. Thats all I could ever ask for. He's so much more than I ever saw him as for years, and i'm just so glad our story finally unfolded.
This week I've had a chance to repay him for all his sweeteness, and even with it being his "birthdaykuh" he's been sweet right on back; buying healthy groceries and sick stuff to make me feel better.
Monday I bought him a coffee, Tuesday a broquet, Wednesday I gave him 26 balloons with reasons why I love him. Thursday I made him lasanga dinner, gave him photos of us, and surprised him in the bedroom with lingerie. Today I am hoping his gift comes, and am taking him to a movie.
He's thinking about buying a house which is really exciting. He's keeping me involved in the process, which I love. I love the idea that he's factoring me in to his future, and that he's a forward thinking person with a drive towards something better.
I'm just really happy right now. I have absolutely no complaints about my relationship and feel like i've finally found someone worth all the heartache.